Everything Is Completely Under Control

Things that look scary at my house this morning include (but may not be limited to):

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It's a slipper.  I swear.  Don't panic; it's actually the easiest slipper you've ever made, and killer cute.  Just looks kinda squirrely at the mo.  This is what it looks like when I break a whole bunch of eggs, only to realize I've invented The Omelette.

Remember when I mentioned the Exploding Christmas Toilet?  Well, this is the aftermath: My children's bathroom is Out of Order.  No floor, no cabinetry, no commode.  I'm thinking it might make a swell clubhouse for me.  I could hide in here for days before anybody came looking.  Not much for ambience, though. Contractors are allegedly arriving next week.  Super Exciting.  I'm totally not stressed out about it.  Not even a little bit.    

And here we observe the North American Teenager in its native habitat.  Danger!  It has the flu and should not be approached.  Leave chicken soup at the opening to its lair and Back Away Slowly. 

See?  Nothing to worry about at all.  I got this.