There she lies at port: The beautiful MS Zandaam.
All 778 feet of her!
Having never been aboard a cruise ship, I was suitably impressed at every turn. My stateroom was expertly and quite invisibly maintained by Rozy, my steward. He introduced himself to me as he delivered my bags. I never saw him again, but his care was evident twice each day, when ice, towels, and pillow chocolates would magically appear. Once, after an excursion ashore, my shoes miraculously appeared outside my closet, having been removed of all dirt and polished to perfection. Every night when I returned to my cabin, I'd find a fluffy bath towel folded into a new and wonderful animal shape.
And all of that was just in my room. Everywhere aboard, the staff knew my name and my favorite drink. Three fine restaurants, a luxurious dining room, 24-hr buffet and round the clock room service all awaited my peckish whim. Stylish lounges every few hundred feet invited me relax and knit with my new friends, which I happily did.
It didn't take long for me to realize that this degree of coddling was going to ruin my life ashore, which it has. Now that I'm home, I still sometimes ask my family where the buffet line is.