How To Turn a Cable

1.  Design your own cabled sweater so that there are no instructions to follow when things get confusing.

2.  Work said pattern until time to twist the first cable and then realize that you have no idea where you put the only cable needle whose shape you like.

3.  Wonder whether you lost that cable needle after the time you used it to pick the lock on the bathroom door because your three-year-old had locked herself in.  Realize that your three-year-old is almost Ten and feel decrepit.

4.  Locate the cable needle after a miserable review of abandoned and semi-abandoned WIPs and resolve to complete all of them, just as soon as the Faery Ring is done...And the book is finished.  And the children are grown...

5.  Lose the cable needle after about three cables and declare that you shall find it at any cost, unleashing the wrath of an unfulfilled knitter on every crack and crevice in the living room.  Fail anyway.

6.  Venture out in a snowstorm to the only store in town where your favorite cheap-ass cable needles might be sold.  Smugly purchase their entire stock of 3 as insurance against future loss.

7.  Settle in to work on cables again in your favorite chair with a cup of coffee (that snow was cold) and all three new cable needles arranged within easy reach.

8.  Spill coffee on favorite chair, causing you to strip slipcovers and discover lost old favorite lock-picking cable needle under cushions.

9.  Resume work with all 4 cable needles arrayed in glory at your fingertips.  Leave to answer phone.  Return to find all 4 cable needles missing.  Blame @#$#%! cats, and sister who inflicted them on you.

10. Relocate all 4 cable needles at price of family harmony and your last remaining non-gray hairs.

11. Leave house, find yourself with time to knit and notice that you left all the cable needles at home.

12.  Resolve to learn how to cable without a needle.

13.  Fail utterly at cabling without a cable needle.

14.  Cleverly press a bent paper clip into service as a cable needle:

15.  Realize that a bent paper clip, while managing to look somewhat authentic, actually fools no one, least of all you, and doesn't work very well.

16.  Resolve to buy every cable needle ever made and stash one in every pocket, purse, desk drawer and shoe you own to forestall future emergencies.

17.  Think better of putting cable needles in your shoes and decide instead to swear off of cables in disgust.

18.  Fall in love with the Faery Ring and its yarn again within minutes of swearing off and return to battle with the crappy paper-clip-cable-needle-wanna-be.  At least you're still knitting.